Monday, May 13, 2013
Often we don't appreciate the phase we are in, when we are in it. A lesson learned from a stranger, hits home.
When the boys were babies, old men and women would "ooh" and "ahh" over the handlebar of the stroller at my angelic sleeping child and say “they grow up so fast” a million times. I’d kindly nod my head and smile, exhausted from lack of sleep and counting down the days to the monthly Moms Night Out when I could drink way too much and pretend I was 25 again—of course paying for that decision for hours the next day. At the doctor’s office, I was having small talk with a nurse and inevitably the conversation comes to children—"Do you have any? How many? What are their ages?" I shared my sons’ ages and she immediately gets a nostalgia look in her eye, “Oh that’s such a wonderful age. Legos, Star Wars…Oh, I just love that age.” I nodded my head…
Thursday, March 21, 2013
Kids on the Autism Spectrum each have unique gifts—I think I found one of my son's.
When you have a child of the Autism Spectrum it’s hard to avoid becoming consumed by comparing your child with typically developing children. IEP (Individualized Education Plan) meetings don’t help, you sit around a table with professionals working with your child on a daily basis at school and discuss the ways in which your child is developing and meeting goals for his age, almost all of his goals are goals that come naturally for other children. For example one of the goals on my son’s IEP is to have a back and forth conversation with a peer without prompting. That doesn’t seem like much, I know, but recently when my son, L, had a friend over and I heard them playing in his room I stood out of eyesight to count how many times they had a …
Thursday, February 7, 2013
What is a biking family to do when not all of our members are able to ride?
Milestones that are met by our children are documented and recorded—our child’s pediatrician informs us of when those milestones typically happen based on recorded data that coincides with a particular age. Baby should be rolling over at six months old, walking at around one, at three years old should be able to speak in multi-word sentences and by four years old should ride a tricycle. Every parent has expectations of their children crossing milestones around the same age that they themselves crossed that milestone. Walking. Talking. Loosing teeth. Grandparents are called to confirm, “Do you remember when I lost my first tooth?” I grew up in a bicycling family; our family would go on week long bicycling trips while other families went to…
Thursday, January 17, 2013
Siblings being told to stick together might force them apart—or it might be the bond that keeps them together.
Growing up my mom would often tell my sister and I to "watch out for each other". When the two of us were on our own, without her parent supervision, she would enforce this rule for us to stick together. As children going to a sleepover at my cousin’s house these were the words she would say as we opened the car doors, it continued into our preteen and teen years when she would drop us off at the mall to hang out with friends or go to a party. I’m sure if you psychoanalyzed the situation it had a lot to do with her own upbringing, my mom and her sister often had to count on each other during their not so grand childhood. Or maybe it was because we grew up in a rough neighborhood, full of boys who sadly saw the back of a police car …
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
The Walters Art Museum is a great place for families.
For parents with kids on the Autism Spectrum, there are many experiences that we have to miss out on due to large, loud crowds. Children on the Autism Spectrum can be over stimulated easily and being put in an environment with a lot of people can lead the child to having a meltdown. My oldest son is on the spectrum and though the meltdowns have become fewer as he’s gotten older, instead over stimulating environments effect his attitude. He becomes “snippy”, short tempered, quick to argue with his brother in other words not pleasant to be around for the rest of the day. We don’t take advantage of the museums in DC as much as we should mainly because of the crowds. Recently we discovered a hidden gem in Baltimore, The Walters Art Museum. …
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
Question 6 might not be a big deal for you but it's a HUGE deal for our family.
“Mommy what is this… vote for Question 6?” my youngest says to me on our way out of the door to school. “Um, it’s a yard sign. Come on we are running late. Get your book bag.” “But what does it mean? What is Question 6?” he asks with urgency. I pause. It seems like every important conversation happens when we are rushing out the door or driving and I can’t focus. This time I stop in my tracks because I realize in this moment that school can wait; this is an important conversation for our family. It deserves my full attention. “You know how when you take a test, there are a bunch of questions?” He nods, his eyes are on me, and he’s paying full attention. I take a deep breath unsure of how exactly I’m going to explain this, and in a split …
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
I'm teaching my children that it’s OK to grieve the loss of a loved one. Instead of sheltering them from my sadness, I’m welcoming them into it.
We are coming up on the one-year anniversary of the death of a dear friend of mine. I met Monte in college. He was flamboyant and loud and, as a freshman away from home, I was both terrified and fascinated by him. He had a voice like a gospel angel and wasn’t afraid of conducting a public performance, wherever that might be: Walgreens, a bar or restaurant or randomly in the middle of the sidewalk in New York City where we both went to live after college. When his spirit was moved to song… he sang! Monte struggled with cancer and died too young at 39 years old. I've been thinking about Monte a lot lately, I’ve been having dreams about him and I know it’s because the anniversary of him dying is only days away. Randomly, when I see someone …
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
A 9-year-old's heart-gripping conversation with a soldier at the Community Center—follow his lead and say, "Thank you."
Almost weekly my oldest son, L, who is on the Autism Spectrum has a new career that he wants to be when he grows up. His career dreams used to last much longer. We had an entire year of him wanting to be an engineer, then he dreamed of being a scientist. His longest running dream career yet has been an astronaut, but it was recently was overthrown by being a soldier. It's hard to explain his desire to be a soldier. We aren’t a military family, and we don’t know anyone currently in the military. He doesn’t even have a cool uncle in uniform that he looks up to, who comes to family functions. But when asked the “what do you want to be when you grow up?” question, the first thing out of his mouth is—soldier. As school was starting, he met a…
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
Try these activities with your children tonight and change the course of your summer.
Many of my friends are having babies, and it’s a reminder for me that our children really do grow up fast. In ten years I doubt my son will say, “I wish mom sat on the sidelines more while I played baseball.” I want my children to remember the time we spent together. I want them to look back on their childhood summers with a smile on their lips. I spent the beginning of summer rushing from one summer camp to another trying to coordinate pick-ups and drop-offs at the same time in opposite parts of town. I was exhausted, and I caught myself snapping at the children every morning as I stressed about getting each child to camp on time. To amplify that one of my children is on the Autism Spectrum, and if he is late for something that he knows …
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
The Prince George's County Sheriff's Office conducted a warrant sweep on Father's Day.
Prince George's County Sheriff's officers arrested 51 men Sunday on charges of failing to pay child support in what is being described as the most successful "Father's Day Warrant Sweep" since 2009. The annual sweep was carried out in cooperation with the Child Support Enforcement Division and in partnership with Calvert and Charles county sheriff's offices and Maryland State Police. In all, officers closed 100 child supports related warrants and orders. Officials said they had hoped to close as many as 286 warrants and locate suspects at 136 addresses. The men arrested owed more than $343,000 in child support. “The collection of child support dollars is important to the well-being of families and children,” said Lt. Col. Regina Taylor, of…
brunchbird
12:44 pm on Tuesday, May 14, 2013
Fascinating perspective. While some will read it as a judgment of parents whose kids are on teams, I find it an interesting and grossly underrepresented voice in modern parenting. If my daughter shows an interest in sports, of course I'll support her. But I'm not pushing her into the madness of modern kiddie athletics if she is disinclined. more ›